fighting downstairs. join me tonight to hear their makeup sex. also, let's make skittles vodka.
Are you for fucking real.? He divorced me just because he got a fucking girlfriend.?!
Ok. Also I almost just threw up. Seriously. I was think to myself "really? Here? Now? At my work desk?" and then it went away.
You paid the taxi driver with a comb last night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I always give him head in random places, it's a guessing game for his cock.
Yeah, he said he was getting "welcome back Winnipeg Jets drunk" then puked on his jersey.
I don't know what kind of soup they made, but it smells like condoms.
I don't know what I would do if cheese never existed
Someone's stooooned
If he thinks that that is an acceptable way to ask me out he is out his goddamn ginger mindddddd.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Had to immediately delete the Bevmo email because I can't even look at an email about alcohol right now.
We have a lot of substance abuse to do tomorrow its sleep time
there is something very satisfying about getting tacos after hours of sex.
Friday is the holy day of drinking. Thou shalt observe the Sabbath. It's in the bible. Look it up bitch.
How the hell do you misplace a bag of tacos in a closet?
I've never had sex that lasts this long though. It's ridiculous. I feel like I need a Gatorade and a sweatband and a sub.
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