Why did we buy the only spinning apartment on campus?
I love how my brain works. It's like being on drugs without the costly upkeep.
you win again, gameday.
You can't just say things like "great depression theme party" and then not respond.
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You had me sold at "fucking you down the slide"
I got the number from the girl at uhaul even after she saw me throw up all over the parking lot with a 6 pack in my hands.
my drunken justification for peeing in her closet was that her shoes were ugly
When you were bringing him upstairs I told him to bring you on down to pound town. you're welcome.
I just told my mother my "if there are drugs I'm only taking them if I don't have to pay" rule and witnessed her perception of my shatter and crumble behind her eyes.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was picked up from his hotel room at 5 a.m. and came home with my panties and jäger in a McDonald's bag so the desk attendant wouldn't judge me. This is what single at 25 is about.
I'm home now if you wanna come over.
Sloane just tried to lick my eyeball. I'm going to regain my composure then I'll be there.
so apparently over the course of the night my roommate and i had sex in exactly the same spot. ps the downstairs sink needs cleaning.
I'm gonna ask his dad. Weed trumps broken heart any day.
i cant go to his party cause last time i pressed the red buttons on the wall and the fire alarm went off for 40 minutes, i'm not allowed back there
I’ve got full Covid immunity, blonde hair and great tits! I’m basically unstoppable
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