Thats not how I planned it, its just the way she passed out
in pain and im wearing pink underwear
so?
i dont own pink underwear
like i told you yesterday: virgins, blood, my name. do it.
So i guess my mom went into the kitchen and asked me why i was making mac and cheese at 4 in the morning and apparently i yelled at her to "get the fuck back bitch you don't know my life"
yea i guess its safe to say fire extinguishers are not synonymous with whip cream cans
The lesbians are drunkenly meowing in the hallway again. This is the shit I'll miss at home.
I'm not really into her personality. Not that we've ever looked for personality in women.
That's only a quality to look for in a second marriage.
He must have sensed I was about to trade him in...he's really stepped up his sex game
Also, I saved your name as Everclear last night. No idea why I did that.
i think god would be more upset with me for turning down such a beautifully crafted cock than he would for me liking girls
If it makes you feel any better, I'm eating a block of cheese...
it was her dad's 50th birthday kegger. Within the first 5 minutes I got punched in the ear from an off-duty cop and smoked a joint the size of my vibrator.
oh yeah, and she got boxed-out by said cop. Then her dad turned around and high-fived him for it
Lesson learned:nothing good comes from an at home wax kit.
He may be 6' 6" but I'm 180 lbs of pure rage and determination
Just a heads up that Dad just brought home a new Porsche and the sales girl he bought it from.
Umm okay. What are they doing?
They’re in the hot tub
Can I get divorced when I grow up?
Randomize
