I served up a girl her first a2m the other day. You would have been proud.
I'm at the point in my career when i know a sites a trap and isn't real porn
how to cook rice: 1. put random amount of rice and water in a pot 2. have sex on the kitchen floor. when you are done having sex the rice is ready
Just burped. Tasted like beer and cherios...Beerios. This is gonna be quite a day.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She was about to go down when you guys iced me. Thanks bro
Thanksgiving. This year's theme: I am thankful that I still have a liver.
The assistant vp has a bottle of wine on his desk & I have a feeling my boobs will be making an appearance today.
Im the proud new owner of the campus speed bump sign
she gave me her number and i just said "no. cant."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There are two women in my bed. I'm gonna have a bowl of noodles so I can better understand my success.
Apparently when your theatre teacher asks who the best actor of our time is, Nicolas Cage is not the right answer.
Dude, we tried to feed you but you just started sobbing and ran away
You just accidentally called me. You kept saying "Really?! Really?!!" So I can only assume you are having sub par sex
I'm telling you, I 'm beginning to think that my vagina is magical.
You're a disaster
Wanna date?
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