No stitches, just platelets and will power
i've never smoked before...when you said wake and bake i thought you meant like a funeral bbq or something
Vodka infused whipped cream. Shit just got real.
even the AIR tastes like tequila.
say it with me now .. the "golden" penis. his nickname does not disappoint.
My brother just woke up to see me on te couch dipping hamburger buns into pizza sauce. I'm beginning to question the life choices that led to this moment.
She called him at 5 AM so that he'd be ready for her birthday breakfast and drinks at 6. This is why people don't need to wait until their 21st to have their first drink.
I can't tell if I'm hungover or if my cat just knocked the lamp on my face
I just stood on my roof naked pouring vodka onto my garden. sweet dreams
And by "schedule" I meant crumbled up liquor store receipt, that I wrote shit on.
Actually it's really just going to be me drunk in your living room swinging from a pole on a tuesday morning.
I felt like... 50% confused and 50% like a slow roasted flip flop.
She was drunk, dancing on the table. Until the table leg completely broke off and she fell on the ground and broke her front tooth straight off. Worse news is there making her pay for the table
I'm noticing I drink less and do fewer lines when I do both together.
Now that's what I call smart money management.
dude I fucking saw you snort tequila
Randomize
