Some man just said he would jack off to my hair color.
why does my vagina smell like weed?
omg thats a great idea
So, it's like build-a-bear for your vag?
i never told you how having a club foot got me laid
he kept refering to his penis as the "eternal sunshine"
Totally just grabbed the wrong dick. Damn this tequila.
this is not okay. even my mom refers to me as a sorostitute.
God you people are gross. Come collect your unconscious friend.
I think i just fucked the same guy a second time without realizing it....does that make me a good whore or a bad whore???
Whore are you.
Is that a Yoda insult or are you asking me where I am?
Yes.
Sorry, It's like OkCupid Olympics... categories: best sext, best dick pic, and most effort by ugly. You won gold in the last event if that makes you feel better.
i'm sitting in bed scratching my boobs and wearing a sparkly fedora and have no one to blame but myself
I thought the dude was just really enjoying his piss but apparently he was jerkin off into the urinal.
So we'll go out later for condoms and cake batter... aka grocery shopping for champions.
I was literally so lonely last night that I stopped watching a video on porn hub and just read the comments
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