I solve my problems like an adult, at the strip club drinking on a work night.
woke up naked, spooning with wine bottle.. and my video chat was still open. fuck, not again.
I enjoy that i have a whole shelf of clothes that I've accumulated from random sex. You know the ones you get to make the morning after look less awkward like similar to an athletes trophy shelf
My tally is now official: I have been drunk every weekend since 2008. Cheers.
He took naked pictures of me and told me if I ever got to the Disney Channel level of fame he would help me out. I think i'm in love
the bar just sent me a facebook message congratulating me on being a regular and getting such good grades. my life is not real.
She left me naked in my bed and without my phone I had her give me her phone number on the calculator on my laptop. It might be fake.
i looked down and was like "oh shit thats blood" then it was like "shit, thats not my blood." then it was like whos blood is this??
I just learned how to imitate a trains smokestack. The downside is it makes you look like you ate cocaine. The upside is YOU LOOK LIKE A TRAIN
it's ok, no one ever died fom being sticky.
i've gotta research that and get back to you.
Thanks for bringing me tea/a bucket. You have earned yourself a face touch.
but I truly enjoy making out with my best friend more than my boyfriend
Everyone thinks it's an okay idea now until I'm overdoing it on the vodka/clubs, dancing on a table, trying to make out with the groom.
Does this mean I have to put a bra on now
YOU FUCKED THE DARE INSTRUCTOR DIDN'T YOU?
Randomize
