Those former-lesbian gone white-trash bars always seem to be your favorite.
Dude also, my grandma got me condoms for easter and kind of winked. I don't know what to think
And dont tell me its his job to cockblock me just because he's my boyfriend.
My mom would probably be ok with my lifestyle as long as she doesn't see that photo of me doing bong rips in a Jesus costume.
Are you still goin to the xmas party?
Yaaaa why?
Jus making sure i will have nice people i know to put a blanket over me when i pass out in the field .
How dare you. Idk what you called me, and neither does google translate, but you better take it back.
He said the first movie he ever jerked off to was Titanic because he knew "they were totally doing it in that car."
But I swear to god if I'm awkwardly there while you try to have sex with someone again I'm getting high with your dad
Just set out 2 water bottles as an offering to my hungover self.
Oh dear. If we're both hearing alien sounds then perhaps they're real.
He said something last night about making crepes, but after getting pissed on in bed, I question everything.
I'll say this one last time. You are TWENTY FIVE YEARS OLD. You are not going to die alone and this is not the twilight of your life. Stop taking shrooms on your period!!!!
Went to my bottom drawer for my stash , gone just a note says thanks sucker love dad
I am drunkenly riding a razor scooter up and down the hills of Cincinnati
What in the fuck are you doing with your life
Remember how slutty I thought she was when we were freshmen?
Yeah! But that was a long time ago. Plus, you use your sluttiness for good!
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