pick me up and take me to a bathroom i have to shit
no
the bathroom is right infront of the beerpong table
im sorry you werent invited but you live 2 blocks away PLEASE
she was mega hot - except for the poop under her fingernails
she just stood in the kitchen yelling "REAL WOMEN HAVE CURVES"
dude, never take two tylenol pm and smoke three bowls. i feel like i'm covered in cold ants.
Why is there an empty beer bottle in the shower?
Why wouldn't there be.
11am puke and rally. THIS is what I'm gonna miss about college.
He's the equivalent of a body pillow and a dildo. But still funny. We have good pillow talk.
What?? I'm covered in blood at the hospital, I atleast deserve a pic of someones boobs
Is my lip ring still in your hair?
Dude in front of me just jumped out of line at Starbucks to go puke. Vegas in prime form.
I mean, I introduced myself as "the after party". I think he knew early in the night he was in for a bangathon.
Today is my 3 year wedding anniversary...and I've seen three different dicks.
Well, the night started out with you ALMOST falling out of a tree. Then we went back to the tree after about 9 shots and you DID fall out of the tree.
Can I make sure all my sluttiness goes to you when I die? You're the only person I know who'll make use of it
I just found a condom in my jolly ranchers bag. This is a good omen.
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