I'm half single.
Please tell me it's the bottom half.
I woke up at 2 pm to my roommate checking my pulse.
throwing up turkey will be a nice break from throwing up ramen
Also, fighting a very strong urge to nickname your dick Whitey Bulger, at least for today.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
TINY HANDS NOT FOR BUTTHOLES
This is going everywhere on the internet.
Last thing i remember is pounding jager and puking in that nerds george foreman grill. Then i wake up this morning with some random tooth brush in my mouth
Oh. My. God. You texted my mom "IM BACK BITCHES!"
I have three different pairs of earrings at three different houses including your 16 year old brothers nightstand. Look at my life. Look at my choices
I'm not going to say what I did. You're smart enough to figure it out. But I did it. And you owe me 20$
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The bald guy bought me a shot so I chugged it and then walked out to the middle of the dance floor and told an old woman that might be your moms twin to bend it over...We didn't end on a good note though. Dude she stepped on my vans.
Id prob hit it, but i instagram edited her picture to make her look better. Ha. She should fuck me just for that.
I'm almost too old to be on The Real World but feel like I'm too young to be on The Bachelor and I'm just really confused with my place in life.
I vaguely remember losing my underwear to 2 chicks in a bathroom. That drunk.
So there I was, eye fucking the waiter and I spilled beer all down my boobs
I just jacked off to nostalgia.
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