Text me right after you finish, I want to know how the ghetto fleshlight worked out
How about I just call you while I'm doing it so you can hear my reaction?
I have been thinking about it and I am really glad we decided to order helmets.
by the end of the night i am guaranteed to have less of a face than Seal....
guess who has a date tonight
look at you growing up, going on dates before she hops into bed
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I have diapers under my sink. trying to convince myself to use them.
Using what I learned in my global terrorism class last semester to sneak booze onto my cruise. thanks college.
I vote intervention dinner around 6, make up movie around 7:30ish, then apology drinks all night. Then hangover waffle house in the morning.
I think I've officially made out with the entire starbucks staff.
I was just told that i'm a premature cuddler. . . What does that even mean?
Whatever it is you failed
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
the cab driver asked if you were our mom. you definitely shouldn't have tipped him so much.
Stoned, drunk, and walking into the library. Look at me multitasking!
I got laid while wearing a shirt with a picture with my little brother deep throating a banana on it.
They're either celebrating their tax money or trying to kill each other.
DAMN HIS BEARD AND ABILITY TO USE TOOLS ON A LADDER!!
Talked a police officer into driving us the 1/2 mile home from the bars because we didn't want to walk. I never knew the back of cop Cars had plastic seats.
Randomize