And now we're talking about squeezing babies out of vaginas...
State Street has never looked so beautiful than during my walk of shame.
You know you are bi when you flip between the NFL Network and LOGO.
I'm on page 4.
Im on beer infinity
My afternoon will now be spent googling genital warts. I think my life is over.
I feel eeeverything like there's a rhythm and everything can be felt w/o ever touching it. And it's beautiful. Sunshine or raindrops it's like orgasming. Everything has a taste.
Just found a ramen cup in the stall and all of the showers running with no one in them. WHERE ARE YOU?
And by "got a tattoo" i mean i got a tattoo in the dorm bathrooms with a guy using his cousin's tattoo gun.
It was drunk tag. I was Alice in wonderland chasing a ballerina who was chasing Lance Armstrong who had needles in his arms.
That money I left you should go to the stripper that fell asleep in your bed. Sorry
You opened the door to your apartment and shrieked "THE CHAIR IS GONE!" then punted a bag of votive candles
At one point I believe I was despencing medical advice while wearing a sombrero and a hulk hand
It was probably the night you were half naked and trying to blow everybody, guy or girl.
this is me we're talking about here. You're going to have to be more specific than that.
Should I be concerned that he called me mom when I got in bed on top of him?
She fucked a bartender in a closed Applebee’s and has the nerve to call me easy
Randomize
