one two three fourrrrnication!
I just spent my lunch hour driving around campus yelling "TRADE LIVES WITH ME!" to all the freshmen moving in
i just went through and liked all 1,239 of her pictures instead of writing my english paper. don't tell her, i want her to be surprised
I swear I could audibly hear her vagina slam shut when you walked up to hit on her.
I can't right now...you know Sunday night is whn I get drunk and do laundry.
So getting a bj to I believe I can fly is one of the greatest things ever
Why did you come into my room last night at 3am and pour monopoly money on me while you were crying?
Your cousin just asked the bartender to start a round of vagina shots. Not body shots. Vagina shots. We're taking her out more often.
She is just sitting by the bathroom like a little puppy waiting for a knight in shining armor to take her in there to fuck her. New low?
Just figured out my hair is long enough to tie my wrists together. . .get over here NOW!
We just got in a fight with grandma b/c she tried to tell us you didn't go hard.
he's a fucking beast. people that don't even know him have started calling him "puke and raleigh"
I'm bringing home frosties. I need to talk about butt stuff.
He has great stamina, he knows how to use his tongue, and he's hung like a goddamn Pegasus. I can overlook the man bun.
Let's ride this possibly pregnant train together
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