Yes give me all the cream and he's gone
trying to fathom saturday night and the fact that Rainn Wilson now hates me. my brain hurts.
Well, I'm a guy so I don't have one, but if its anything like the inside of my nose, yes, vodka would burn.
I think even Ryan Seacrest is disgusted with the thought of Ryan Seacrest getting some.
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I told him i wanted to be exclusively cheating with him
He just yelled in the bar, "So I stuck it in two girls butts, why are you bringing that up now?"
You realize at the bar last night we blew on imaginary whistles like rose from titanic right?
totally worth getting kicked out for trying to throw my drink on lindsay lohans ankle bracelet.
It feels like you stuck your dick in a fire and then branded the inside of me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No one ever gets any after sleeping with her. She is like the broken mirror of hookups, enjoy 7 years of blue ball. Don't say I didn't warn you
Sarah's knitting me a hat as an apology for unknowingly making out with my boyfriend
I love it when he cheats on me with nice people
The last time I went to Vegas and the sun started to rise, my copilot went home with her nipples pierced.
We've been fucking like crazy ever since she quit her job..ive been running errands all day to stay out of the house and give my dick a day of rest
I hate my life now
I just found a nug casually in my room under my duffel bag. Is this a sign I need help?
You literally snort drugs up your nose and you’re questioning the brand of the multivitamin right now?
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