I told my rommate that he was pissing on his bed. He said "ok man" and took a step backwards and continued. He then went back to bed.
you said your puke was red because you were proud to be an american.
My one night stand found me at the library and randomly gave me plan B. He was scared I was going to get pregnant because he has a very high sperm count.
I've never seen the starbucks guy more terrified than when you dove out the car window after your credit card
Ok now I cleared out half the bar and Em and I have 5 Jameson shots lined up for you. You have 15 min.
he's the second guy to suck on my nipple in front of my friends that i haven't made out with.
After last night I think its official. Deep down, we like alcohol more than we like women.
He's practically not my boyfriend anymore. So let's go get some glitter, balloons, alcohol and forget this night ever happened.
I want to but I can't have a boner while doing a install and working with a customer
When dressing for a 3way, how do I convey to the other chick I care enough to look pretty but not so much that it's a huge deal?
I tipped him really well because I feel he knew we were high, but did it in a non judgemental way.
It's not safe here. I had urgent and violent diarrhea last night, and I got blackout drunk. Please don't come over.
I can handle him. I'm made of spite and hot wings.
wheres my face? and why is my pocket so big?
If she didn't have scissors in her hand I would have motor boated the fuck out of her when she was done cutting my hair.
Randomize
