R and i have drinken 4 bottles od red wine. By ourselfs
you got so mad from losing a game of beerpong that you went into another room by yourself and practiced for an hour and a half.
well now i know if i ever need to drive puke and talk on the phone at the same time i can
I just found pie in my hoodie pocket... This break needs to end.
then he tried to tell me how many times he had seen Scott's dick. his estimate was about 180 times. he thought I didn't understand.
Confirmed. Vegetarians give terrible head.
like a dude with a badge in a golf cart is gunna do shit. Unless he has a tazer. Then it's fair game.
Ryan learned the all important lesson tonight; Red Bull gives you wings, Jaeger gives you gravity.
We're at the urgent care down the street from you if you care to stop by
"Home for the holidays" isn't clearance to fuck the recently 18 year old high schooler right?
Nope, his last birthday was.
You kept going up to guys in plaid and screaming "are you a lumberjack" in their faces
This is why you arnt allowed in pet stores
I walked in on him fucking her whilst she ate skittles. I saw things no one should see, but I did get your bra back. You owe me.
I think i got my first booty call. it was like she came to my house. sex. leave.
Congratulations. Welcome to the wonderful world of quick dirty secret sexy time.
thanks... i think. haha
I cannot take an uber back in my costume...can you please come get me?
I wonder if the sex shop has any Black Friday deals.
Randomize
