Spotted: forty year old in red dress, cigarette in hand, squatting to pee by railroad tracks. Hello future.
he was lying next to me and i saw him text "score" to someone.
he had more hair on his balls then in my Easter basket
He told me they were just razor bumps!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i got a blow job in the bathroom during intermission at the hockey game. i'm pretty sure i made Canada proud.
We were fucking at break-dick speeds.
I'M SO WET FOR FREEDOM
YOU TRIED TO SWIM IN HER FISHTANK. I don't think she's going to call you.
You know you've been having sex for 9 months when you do Rock Paper Scissors for who has to go on top
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Next time you have him paint you an outfit so you can do you walk the street naked TAKE A SHOWER BEFORE YOU GET IN THE BED. MY sheets look like like an acid trip
Godammit I caught my hair on fire taking a bong rip
I think I met my butt stuff soulmate
He put on star wars porn, i thought it was hilarious last night but now i'm wondering why he has star wars porn
We're like a married couple, but we only have sex on college holidays and other people's birthdays.
Yeah but now he has a wife. It’s going to be different this year
So what. We’ve banged every Thanksgiving since high school. She just has to understand it’s a holiday tradition
Randomize