I'm 3 blocks south of you watching drag queens.
Last night my friend tried to make out with me in an olive garden. Ahahah
Nothing says 'I love you' like never ending salad and breadsticks
I haven't been able to trust a girl since spanks came out
I'm not sure where but someone shit somewhere in the house
dude she was so drunk she thought Jim Joyce made the right call
I don't care what he thinks. My vagina has an open door policy.
they were fucking between cars in the parking lot and everyone was cheering at them.
Hungover like ... in bed with the Brita pitcher and a straw, only opening one eye at a time.
i keep looking at my boobs and it just baffles me how he could give this up.
Would it be bad if I bought her bread, meat, cheese, and stuff as her christmas present so she can make me a sandwich?
Your trash is full of condoms and yoohoos what a great life we live
It wasn't exactly a dick pic. It was more like a body shot with a hint of wiener.
It can't be Friday yet, in still getting friend requests of people I don't remember from last weekend
Is it weird that the girl I'm fucking just wished me luck on my date tonight?
I didn't think you wanted your identity stolen along with your dignity. My mistake.
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