no but I have been chillin' like em' homeboys in the rainforest yo!
pick me up and take me to a bathroom i have to shit
no
the bathroom is right infront of the beerpong table
im sorry you werent invited but you live 2 blocks away PLEASE
lol whn u cming hre I nd 2 c ur fce
IF YOU TEXT ME ONE MORE SHORTENED VERSION OF A WORD, THE ONLY THING YOU'LL SEE IS MY FIST IN YOUR FACE.
I'm wearing an NBA shooting sleeve while jerking off...and yes my arm has stayed warm
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just took a final in the room where I lost my virginity. I think it was god luck.
so, I mean this in the straightest way possible, but don't you ever just feel like you owe Jon Stewart a blowjob...
I guess I tried to show you how big my closet was and we ended up eating pickles in my bathroom
I woke up in the ER. This living like theres no tomorrow really could mean theres no tomorrow.
You should fuck with them and beat off in the cup and then walk out an be like, "This was a sperm donation right?"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel like a Europe failure cause I'm coming home from the club at 3:30 and so many people are just arriving... Wtf? 3:30am People! Drink earlier!
It's a Tuesday.
I've got to stop fucking tourists. If Chicagos piazza is anything like their dicks. I'm moving.
I literally wonder, frequently, "Will anyone ever fuck me until i go cross eyed for 2 hours again?''
The minute he showed me his Mumford and sons tattoo is the minute i could literally feel my pussy dry up
You've discovered your super power: Your Vagina
I wanted to have a threesome but they’re TOO HETERO
Randomize