yes i saw that this morning. it was my mailbox.
3 different guys in my psych class know me as 3 different names and said hi to me with all 3 different names-Andrea, Grace, and Bella
I've never been more proud of you
just woke up with an anonymous loaf of bred in my bed and a piece in my mouth. this says alot about my life.
I ended up on the roof were calling it a tie
The only thing worse than being arrested is the fact the cop confiscated my green dinosaur costume.
Mom brought home a 36 pack of Smirnoff and was all "ring any bells?" and then winked. I'm scared. What does she know?
I take it that, because we are not guzzling a box of franzia, everything went alright?
We're all just looking at each other quietly, hoping that no one brings up last nights shenanigans.
Milk that cash cow for all the shots she's worth
the dj asked me quote "are you sure you're sober enough to do this?" And I grabbed the mic from him and said "ill fucking show you sober- HIT IT". I also dropped the mic at the end so he had to come around and pick it up
Shania Twain would have been proud
I woke up in a strange bathroom. Was I blonde when you left me last night?
I never forget a pussy, even blackout me gives me that memory.
I just saw a guy in a hazmat suit riding a tractor.
Today is going to be a great day. He just brought me a donut on his dick... It's Sticky Dick Donut Day!!!
Didn't realize he fucked me in a bed a dog is always in until my face swelled two sizes and I had hives all over my body. This is God's way of punishing me for having amazing sex.
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