I had a good time, probably would have a bigger headache today if you were in town.
Best feeling in the world? holding your pee all day for a negative preggo test
it appears as though my vagina has gotten the best of me again
whatever happens this semester dont let me be that girl yacking in the urinal. again.
You were throwing ham at people telling them you were the sandwhich fairy
He told me since I'm into organics I should know his meat is known locally for its quality and hes hand raised it since age 13.
Euphemism? No, "pantsless vodka yoga" is a legitimate pastime of mine
Somebody found our where I was and called the bar looking for me. When the bartender called my name I finished my beer and took off like a fugitive.
I world jack off literally anyone now that I'm not related to.
If we had kids we couldn't come home, get high and watch porn together. And that's like the only reason I get up in the morning
correction: my vagina hates that I'm smart.
how come you came home with "Amanda owns this" written on your forhead
Is it bad I use my AA meeting to hookup with guys?
You kept shouting about how you were the king of all bitches...and doors, for some reason.
I totally fucked your pastor last night.
You're his wife.
Still a dirty get down.
Randomize
