Baby momma caught me doing baby daddy in reverse cowgirl. She kicked me out and i have no clothes, come get me.
I hope you walked the shit out of that shame.
Yea well when i pee it makes steam.
can we please move this conversation out of my vagina?
because you can't take the autistic girl you're babysitting on a blunt ride.
Hmmm just stalked him and according to his facebook he wants "whatever he can get." obviously he'd be open to the idea.
Just bought all my wine for the weekend with a check at 11am. I'm almost judging myself.
A shower wasnt enough to wash off the shame but at least it took care off the blood.
I was crying hysterically and you wouldn't stop petting my ear and shushing me every time I tried to say something.
If you're receiving this text it's probably because I drunkenly flashed you on Saturday. Sorry for forcing you to look at my tits. That was uncalled for.
No she probably looked into my aura and saw that my penis would ruin her.
Can I get that on a shirt
I just got attacked by a swarm of butterflies. Nothing is okay anymore.
Today's psa: there are certain parts of your body you shouldn't scratch while wearing fake nails.
you just tore your cootch a new one, didn't you?
Baked goods and tits. Hard to go wrong there.
He asked if I had any questions. Apparently, "how thick is the stick up your ass" was not a correct question.
Never thought I’d use my computer science degree for teledildonics, but here I am
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