Please forgive me. I will pay for your emergency room visit.
You know its bad when you're praying for a hangover just so you aren't still drunk at work anymore.
Do you think anyone has ever tried to have sex with a cows udder before?
i dont know if you remember blowing your vomity nose directly into my hand...yeah thanks for that
I just found a receipt from ace where I bought 1 lrg plastic funnel, 2ft of 1" plastic tubing, and a 48" toboggan sled. Thank you cashier #552 for letting that poor life decision happen.
He called himself excalibur. Thats all I remember.
Dude she looks like a female richard gere plus 400 pounds.
Woke up to a break up text for a facebook relationship I didn't even know I was in... 2012 is going to be a good year
It is very possible that having sex with you just now just got me into Yale
I'm trying to find a fanny pack so I can bring pizza on my run
My boobs are hoarders, they steal food and hide it. Greedy bitches.
Tbh.. I hope he still watches our sex tapes so he can be reminded of what he's missing out
And he put my hair in my clip while i blew him...and he did a good job
my nurturing instincts told me to take his clothes off
Great... now even my dreams are making fun of me
Randomize
