It's like she bought one bad life decision and got one free
dont touch anything in my room. If its phallus shaped, i can almost guarantee its been in my vagina.
My T9 text prediction thing keeps predicting every next word is going to be "midgets".
so id say it was a successful trip...i only got hit on by one cousin...
yes, we have a friends with benefits thing. i found out he had never 69'd, done anal or had a threesome. i told him i was going to rock his world.
and what did he say?
there were no words. he looked like a kid on christmas morning.
Your my favorite hello and hardest goodbye.
And I especially mean that last part, half the time you pass out somewhere and it is impossible to get you to leave.
She just rubbed her face all over pool chalk. I feel like it's time to go
you got me arrested i just think that goes without question you owe me a blowjob
I woke up naked dangling by my feet from the balcony over his foyer. He's officially my new favorite booty call.
My middle name is suave and my vagina shoots rainbows, what else would you expect?
You know you drank too much last night when your mouthwash tastes like water
Honestly I'm so excited to go to bed I feel as if I don't deserve to be in my early twenties.
I'll have to text you later. Trying to have civilized conversations with the boyfriends parents when I'm 100% aware I just blew their son in the bathroom 5 mins ago. Stay tuned.
I told him you forbid me to sleep with him so he needs to accept that.
But actually he solved 40% of my life problems just in one dicking
Randomize
