Actually, all he talks about is how great the sex is with her and how crappy you were at it. Stop being a bitch and gossiping masking it as self-righteousness.
I bet him anal if they won...the one time Detroit decides to win, it had to be this week
Nope. She just screamed at me "YOU WERE A FAILED ABORTION" and "I'LL PUT ANTHRAX IN YOUR PILLOW YOU LITTLE FUCK". Best mother award ever
Why does he only make me orgasm when I'm about to break up with him?
just got booed by the entire restaurant.
Like some sort of pot growing robin hood.
She makes walking on a treadmill look like a porno. I wish I could send over shots as an ice breaker.
That's effing brilliant. We should start a business.
U know that drunk state, where at 930 the next morning your sitting in a bath in ur bathing suit trying to sober up...yeah. That's where i am..
I only feel half bad for cheating on him because while we were fucking I was given great relationship advice and now I'm ready to work some things out.
Look. If you get me out of this speeding ticket you can bang my sister. Or my mom. But not both.
Can we please start going to the gym before I accidentally kill someone via explosive fat girl pants button accident
He wanted me to strip for him. I told him that we aren't at that serious of a fuck buddy relationship yet
You also thought the cure to hiccups was drowning yourself (and you were right)
Tell him you want to lick his face. Didn't work for me but might turn out better for you idk
He's going to be in the air guitar championships in june. Need I say more.
Randomize
