Girls don't like it when you cum inside them and then discuss baby names.
i know, but like... i wanna be a CLASSY i'm-stealing-your-date kind of slutty...
soo I had sex last night and he wore a condom, pulled out sans condom. we looked everywhere and couldnt find it, even in my vag. so Im in the library at school and I googled it and it gave me "gentle digging" techniques, and sure enough, found it. ew. I'll be purchasing Plan B after class.
dude i just made a burrito by wrapping 2 packs of scooby snacks with a fruit roll up. im so high
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
so i told him i have my period and he put his head by my vagina and said "I HATE YOU!"
All she said was "the usual?" and unzipped my pants.
I just remembered how awesome your handjobs were in 7th grade, you were a true champ, thank you
I just can't have sex with a guy who has nicer eyebrows than me
Apparently he proposed after he saw me chug vodka out of a traffic cone.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We're you guys there last night when everyone started chanting "Nacho Steph"? Someone picked me up, carried me to the nacho cheese and made me do a nacho cheese stand.
Well. No wine. And no real mixers. I'm using vodka and grape juice and calling it Slurrrlot. Happy Holidays bitch.
Hamster emergency. Can u come in here
I have a pair of clean panties in my purse. This is having your life together.
WHY THE FUCK DOES RICKY'S BROTHER GET AN ENTIRE POT OF PASTA FOR BEING SHIRTLESS AND ALL I GET IS ARRESTED?!
So being hungover in an office full of people with hangovers for 9 hours is quite possibly what hell will be like.
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