hey i know this is weird but does alcohol affect pregnancy tests?
she told me if people cross their eyes and look at her, they say she looks like megan fox
He just walked up to be, grabbed my boob and said 'i think they have shrunk' i have no idea who he was.
he was grinding on you and dedicated the song "I'm in Love With a Stripper" to you then started taking his own clothes off
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I hooked up with a 20 year old last night. I feel like a hocus pocus witch that sucked life from a child.
FRIENDSHIP PRAYER: May the crabs of 1,000 whores infest the crotch of the person who fucks up your day
I just got carded by a ten year old.
I just ate a raisin that tasted like wine. Is this real life or is this my body trying to tell me it's Friday and I should be drinking right now?
Lol I'm not having group sex with you, that apron is fuckin awesome tho
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well. I had to explain to my niece that the word cunt is not an abbreviation for country. I'm the best aunt in the world.
I swear to god if you settle for a trump supporting packers fan, I will not acknowledge your children. You're better than that.
What was the name of that sleazy asshole I'm not allowed to sleep with?
I'm laying in bed cuddling with my teddy bear and eating waffles. I need a fucking boyfriend
It's slightly odd going to a booty call during morning rush hour with everyone else going to work.
He’s older
Like “has a job and pays his bills” older or “still watches porn on DVD because he can’t figure out the Internet” older?
Randomize