I told him it tasted like his mom..needless to say we were asked to leave.
Bullshit. I know you're watching The Dog Whisperer
That Cesar Milan is captivating
Im eating ham and mustard naked, watching south park, but its totally cool cuz the paper plate is covering my nuts
The magic cards should have been the first clue. The comments that I have "amazing birthing hips" and that I'm "beautiful in a child bearing sort of way just sealed his fate.
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I'm sorry I tried putting my balls in your cup holder.
Crumbling up chips, putting them in salsa, eating with spoon. New level of stoner fatassery. Its so genius/delicous i'm not even ashamed
screw jello shots the kids from the culinary school made pudding shots with 4 loko.
I decided they need a food cart that just roams around the library like the cotton candy people at the circus. But with real food. like tacos cause it sounds delicious.
She just tried to talk over a fart. The fart was way longer than the sentence she originally wanted to say so she just added gibberish to the end. Gross
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I'm trying to poop and took acid, this is going to end horrid or wonderful. Oh the amusement park, not the pooping.
You could be a whistle.. And just ask bitches if they want to blow you all night
We just broke my bed mid-sex, laughed, then continued. If that isn't true love I don't know what is.
Tis the season to play Pocahontas! (AKA: Eat a bunch of acid and run around the yard barefoot, the first person to see the colors of the wind, wins!)
I woke up this morning to my panties draped around the neck of an empty bottle of bulleit. That is the perfect visual metaphor for my life at this juncture.
What are you feeling right now?
Idk. I just flashed a porch 🤷🏼♀️
So not in the best place to do an emotional inventory
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