Afterall, it is the real San Francisco treat
his prince albert piercing just severely cut the roof of my mouth. can you pick me up at the hospital if he drops me off?
he suggested we appoligize to eachother. then do blow and painkillers & have ourselves a make-up party.
Still can't believe they give people like us a drivers license and college degree.
He literally had a note from his doctor saying he wasn't allowed to finger me for a week
Well still if someone cared enough about u to wish an unwanted child or a disease on u ..u must have been doing something right
his basement wasnt heated so when i asked for a hoodie someone gave me a kimono.. i passed bc who the fuck knows where that shit has been recently
If a raisin and a desert had a bastard child that would be the inside of my mouth right now
I feel like I should be having more sex dreams of my boyfriend than his sister..
Please tell me I didn't send you a dick pic in the middle of Peter Pan..
I'm hungry and horny. DEADLY COMBINATION.
he literally walked in took a shit and left ringing the 'great service' bell on the way out.
Why did I wake up covered in glitter next to a half eaten cheeseburger?
I woke up in a boat, with a life jacket on, tons of beer cans and no lake... I was inside a garage. WTF
If I had a dollar for every functioning brain cell you had I would owe someone a lot of money
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