Come to wood. Julia is putting pants on. We must stop her.
The smartest thing I've heard Obama do is call Kayne West a jackass
i checked my sent messages this morning and i had apparently tried to text the bar, saying "idk what i drank, do you?"
He just slept in my bed for a couple hours and asked lots of questions about gay sex. No, I do not have his number.
Sorry you had to see that, but on the bright side...at least I trust you enough to have sex in front of you
im celebrating the fact lent is over and i can give blow jobs again.
Its what im here for. Critiquing penis photos.
Is this girl REALLY making a smoothie in the bathroom right now?
do you still have a key to my apartment? Without going into too much detail locked myself out naked on the patio, currently using a deck cushion to cover myself so kids walking home from school dont see me
He just got dropped off drinking a flask, sitting on the handlebars of a chinese delivery man's bike
Tonight's gonna be epic. Did he bring my noodles?
Decided in my tanked state last night purchase 2 weeks worth of xanax, so I can guess my way thru this week and finals. Soberly, I decided it would be a great way to test my knowledge of finance.
I just spent 12 consecutive hours in the same outfit and none of it was pajamas. If that's not personal growth, I don't know what is.
This country song on the radio just had a rap break. What. No. Why.
Hey I can officially say I made out with a drug lord.
the sex was good. her showing me pictures of her 4 year old daughter afterwards was not.
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