they thought it would be fun to get out their yearbook and see who hooked up with the most guys..I won...I don't even go to the same school
I'm not really sure how I got home, but judging by this headache, i'm assuming it involved bourbon.
I always give him head in random places, it's a guessing game for his cock.
her body is proportioned like a family guy character
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Oh my god I peed in a park last night and then tried to set off fireworks with a group of middle-aged men
I was so exhausted I thought about using my deep throat spray to stop my coughing.
I wasn't that drunk, I know my limits. When peeing became difficult I stopped taking shots.
My bra is still on the porch...I'm leaving it as a reminder to get my shit together.
He was licking my ear while recommending that I shop at IKEA. I think he's my perfect guy.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We're at an agreement where I don't pry and she pretends blissful ignorance
Dude, you ever snap awake on the toilet at work with that panicked, "How long have I been here?!" feeling??
skipped tacos for a blowjob. No tacos. No blowjob. More importantly...no tacos. Wtf?
I got a free corona t-shirt and all I had to do was drink a beer. This needs to be a more widely accepted form of currency.
Just got your voicemail. The 3am call wasn't a drunk dial, it was an I left my phone in my pocket then has wild animalistic sex dial...
I hate you.
You LOVE me.
We ran out of vodka, so instead of body shots you wanted to do cupcake shots off her naked body...happy birthday to you.
Randomize