I'm at the bar with Ashley what should I do?
humiliate her
I puked in the AC vent. thing are gonna get ugly come summertime.
i just remembered the time you guys tried to give me an intervention because i was drunk before 5 on a monday
Home, forcing the cats to make out. Someone should get some.
Dude I think my special talent is falling in drunkenly falling in front of a cop and getting away. This is the second time.
High enough to ask the woman at best buy if she ever feels like she's swimming. and telling the man outside that he smells like happy juice.
Bad things happen to those who bang their lab partner at the beginning of the semester.
I thought he was being really sweet and protective when he pulled me away from the guy i was hooking up with, but turns out he just wanted me to get chicken nuggets with him...
Got head at the top of a water slide over-looking the valley while wearing a sombrero and drinking a corona. Epic.
I think he might be using me for sex. I also think I might be ok with that.
i just called dibs on the taxi driver at the bar that isnt drinking. im a grown up
I just caught my bangs on fire trying to lite a bowl while driving. Thank god it wasn't my eyebrows like last time.
He lasted less than 30 sec. in bed and then sent me a friend request on LinkedIn. Wtf.
just licked the cheese off a burger. that high.
I just landed at Logan and some guy threw up in the baggage carousel. Boston never really changes
Randomize
