So how come you never look me in the eyes anymore when we make love?
I knew we should have skipped class earlier, my lab partner is drunk from last night and making up his own experiments.
She stopped mid-blowjob to introduce herself to us
In the middle of fucking me, she said "Hold on, I need my Hulk hands."
Its official. Iv'e been kicked out of a bar in every state. I would like to take my job and travel time for allowing this to happen.
Bring it all. We will have a potluck of drugs. It will be magical.
Idk he's just laying there passed out with a French fry up his nose and without any pants on. Boner and everything.
I think I should advise against you hooking up with a guy that throws "the shocker" up in all of his pictures on facebook. Just sayin.
Also we saw a clown getting arrested. Rochester is weird.
Let me be the 15% helpful, 85% useless as shit angel on your shoulder.
We need to figure out what we are doing for halloween asap. I'm not going out like a punk ass bitch burger king again this year.
In light of your oncoming completion of twenty-three years of personhood, I feel a pressing need to blast country-pop phenomenon Taylor Swift's hit single "22" in your general direction until midnight.
so it took us like 45 minutes to get into the party.... then when we wanted to leave we were blocked and forced to stay.
....you got kicked INTO a party??
took shots off of a myriad of fake boobs last night. It was glorious.
he asked if he should bring the trash can into the room.. apparently i shoved my finger all over his face and said.. shhhh dont talk... just take your pants off.
Randomize
