Asian hipster sighting. About to tackle him and ask him to take me to chinatown
What do you think that old couple was thinking when they saw me puking in the QT parking lot at ten in the morning?
Rylan was made in your driveway. Just thought, as godfather, you should know.
i was surprised by the severity of his small dick condition
She just stuck her hand down the strippers pants. Shit just got real.
The 9th floor RA wants to know why we stacked 21 cinder blocks in the shower, and I can't remember. Do you?
Also since my birthday I've on average fucked a new guy every 12.5 days. I'm doing an excel spreadsheet
During your work shift I was either: a) stoned. b) high. c)stoned. or d) high.
He didn't have much of a personality. But I had like 100 orgasms, so that's cool.
I can't hang out with this penis. I'll start thinking I like the person it belongs to.
We probably are going to die. So. Thanks for agreeing to be my Maid of Honor even though I torture you.
Of course that's what I'm wearing. I need to find a beard to mount and ride STAT.
Wandering around the streets of Baltimore at two in the afternoon. Just offered a job as a stripper. Think I should accept?
Try an internship first, see if you enjoy it.
He in a way got kinda cockblocked by Jesus
Any chance he has an open marriage? That penis shouldn’t be wasted on one woman. It should be shared with all womankind, or at least me. I’m too good at sex to be deprived a penis that large
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