I got into an eating contest with Christina. I ate 6 oranges.
Why? Who won?
we don't know. we ran out of oranges.
Found a waterbottle filled with a bloody mary in my purse this morning. Blacked-out me is always trying to help hungover me, it's so cute.
Not even the dog will look at me anymore.
when are you leaving homes?
it's 7:51. why the fuck are you awake at 7:51
I had a sex dream about Oprah.
go back to sleep
dude. it was a sex dream. about. Oprah.
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Idk, it's Grover wearing a sombrero. Do I need a reason?
Found a pint glass in my snow pants.
passed a homeless guy with a sign that read "420 vetran" we gave him a bowl of bud
We really have to stop convincing people tazing is the cool thing to do.
He just showed me how to break a chop stick with his ass.
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I did sing regulators with a random black dude at The Rail without looking at the screen, hugged him and walked off stage. I pretty much live up to all expectations.
I wanna get high and watch Shrek tonight...don't make me do it alone.
So, in keeping with the last two years, are we going to watch the new Hobbit movie on acid again? It's kinda starting to feel like a Christmas tradition.
And you will die and be carried in a backpack before I allow you not to comply in this tomfoolery.
I just want to sit in my tub, drugged out of my mind, and watch the green lantern cartoon while the world as we know it ceases to exist outside my bathroom door, Okay? Is that REALLY too much to ask?
drunk boyfriend and drunk me are NOT meant for each other
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