I cant believe I just managed to do a drug deal across the country for you...
Braces and a neon one piece. She looks 15.
i'm in love
Escorted a stripper to her car last night,and all I got was a "Thanks" and "Go Steelers."
I inspected his penis with a mini flashlight to check for visible stds...he was clean
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Fuck him for salsa, please. I heard its a good recipe.
I just helped a group of highschool stoners find a safe place to smoke I feel like a responsible rolemodel
answered a 6 am booty call this morning...you were still in the er so I thought what the hell
Plus my stomach has been speaking through my ass all day sending notes saying "fuck you" and "this is from your liver" or "i will kill you."
you shall refer to me as my indian name from now on...running with dumb cunts
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's like the sisterhood of the traveling vaginas over here
By the end of the first quarter he was so hammered he was pouring beer into the crockpot with the miniature hot dogs and BBQ sauce saying he loved the supper bowl and he loves taking mini weinies to the face
he woke me up with all the stuff I had at his house in boxes i had to unwrap my own belongings and he said. Happy v-day its time to see ya day! Worst day ever
And as drunk as I was I was able to show my mom how to make text italicized in Microsoft word
Found a pic on my phone from last night. You're drunk. Arm wrestling some guy. In the bar bathroom. At a baby changing station. It's my new wallpaper.
It's hard not to feel like a terrible person with bruises on your tits.
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