Is it weird that I have contacts who i've classified as DO NOT ANSWER?
Lol no its called college
I just did the scooter of shame. New levels of embarrassment have now opened.
after drinking 6 jumbo margaritas he then proceeded to tell the entire restaurant that he was going to "bust a load in me" when we got home....how do you think the rest of my night went?
11am puke and rally. THIS is what I'm gonna miss about college.
I just told you I can't. My fingers are melting. I have discovered the high.
The girl who overdosed in the bathroom at work is back....help?
Its like a zucchini between his legs. An orgasmic zucchini.
Thank you for not puking on my lap during the first class of the semester. And fuck you for doing it in the second.
Yeah if I don't text back. I'm eating. sleeping. Or lifting. Or drinking. Or playing call of duty. Like shit man
We got to his house, cuddled while watching game of thrones, then fucked during the repeat airing.
People are talking politics and I have had 9 mimosas
You said "I'm not gonna waste my last condom on you" last night.
I’m not closing myself off the to the possibility of making a bad life choice.
I was all, oh. I've had tattoos and broken a limb. Waxing my lady parts will be a cake walk. I was wrong.
So I woke and tried to get up. Then I realised my foot was stuck in the pocket of the pool table.
Randomize
