Come back if u want to. I'll do some dirty shit to u mamacita.
Anal astronaut?
Wow word travels fast.
I mean what are real friends for if they won't hold down your wedding dress to allow for a keg stand
Im watching him eat cream cheese and hot dog buns.
It feels like im being cuddled by a thousand little smurf vaginas
Seriously I will never run in my wedges while drinking racing home to have sex ever again
so he had an ashton kutcher Kelso haircurt. dude, we're in our mid to late 20s, I don't think we can ridicule guys for having hair anymore.
Dude I just came exactly at the crescendo of the Catalina wine mixer duet from step brothers.. Advance to next level.
If its possible to have a hickey on your nipple, I have one. Thank you.
Best walk of shame ever. Wearing a bright purple onesie, covered in smudged childrens make up, carrying my shoes and 1/4 sac of goon. I swear every house I walked past had an elderly couple watering their garden just to watch me
So what happened? Or does sex + ramen pretty much cover it?
YOU HAVE BEEN BAD TOUCHED BY THE LEPRECHAUN OF CHOICES
I mean, I'm shallow, narcissistic, and selfish, but I'm an amazing friend sometimes
Dude I used amphetamines responsibly today though. I snorted one in the am for work and then chewed one in the pm for other work. I'm an adult.
I think I had Hypothermia but was too drunk to notice.
Randomize
