I just pynch a tree in the face
he recorded me cumming with the t-pain app on his iphone
worst night to have a conscience
I puked in the AC vent. thing are gonna get ugly come summertime.
Imagine a baby lion feeding on an injured gazelle and it tasting fresh blood for the first time. That's me and this breakfast sammich
I just asked the contractor building my house what it would cost to put a garbage disposal in all the shower drains...there was a lot of judging going on.
Although I commend your efforts to keep my penis away from her, your sister is now booty walking up my stairs. Good game though, good game.
When the cops pulled up I just stood flat against the fence with my hands up while yelling out,"I'm a tree!!"...
Then me, her, and her mom snorted tequila. The bartender was in shock.
i swear to god if you did anything to my honey bunches ill remove all the oats and shove them up your dickhole then play pinata with my foot to knock them all back out
Even dream me is a champ at smoking weed
You will never be paid again to get drunk and tell off cops without being arrested. Once in a lifetime opportunity
You're right. Fuck my job. I'm in.
A bee came out of the shoe box and stung her. Even the insect community doesn't want her in those hideous things.
I decided to start over my porn collection by deleting the old stuff. That was a sad piece of a pie chart...
I just changed all my morning alarms to wake me up with different Jesse McCartney songs telling me I'm beautiful. Would you believe I'll be 25 this year?
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