I've come to the conclusion that as a grad student I would much rather prefer to get laid then get drunk
I think you know full well that a few years ago my stance was the polar opposite
mrs. f**** your sons in jail, if you can help with bail please respond, if not please dont tell him i told you.
cruising supermarkets, asking random people where i can get weed. fuck alaska
i love accidental penises.
Well I say she's a whore. All four of her kids have different last names.
BUT, one is Johnson and the other is Johnston. She gets some credit for that
This milkshake tastes better than sex. Priorities, I have them.
So i realized that if i bought everything from my google search history for the past week i would have a dolphin, a wolf costume, a unicorn costume, a katana and a bullet proof vest. Not sure how the dolphin would fit in but the rest of it would end up in one awesome night or someone would die. Either way i say we do it.
I have a fantastic sense of humor but being called a merman isn't funny
We could put on there: "Drink jager bombs and do stupid shit faster, with more energy!"
Idk man there's lots of bad dick but even a bad cookie is still pretty good
He woke up from being passed out on the couch mumbled something that sounded like "Taco" then proceeded to the bathroom only to pass out again, I think we need to learn how to party like him!
I'm sitting here drinking whisky and listening to The Wiggles, I don't need a social life
Is it bad that I like to have a guy to flirt with in every class? I feel like it's excellent motivation: to shave, to shower and to show up.
At 10 PM you were shit faced in the kitchen makin nachos... Naked. I wasn't sure what to do besides walk away...
I got drunk. Then I took a shit.
It was a good shit
Randomize
