Something clean will definitely be barfed on tomorrow.
No seriously, I have to sell the house because my wife found out I'm gay.
I just found your credit card inside the bag of chips
How do you tell if you're on the terrorist watch list?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So... i mean if they do have cameras in his apartment buildings pool room atleast we gave them a little show.
Whatever. I'm saving myself for my wedding night or a night with enough patron.
Absolutely. Last time I signed up for a softball league I had sex with my high school economics teacher.
Unless you can cure my hangover with your penis I'm not interested.
He had me saved in his phone as "Dick Socket". Lets see if I ever fuck him in a bathroom again.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude, he threw a pool chair off of an 8 story building. It was a successful night I'd say.
Totally forgot Mike has only one ball. Is it sad I'm excited to see it? Or shall I say the lack of it?
By cross-referencing our messages & her Twitter feed, I've deduced that she was eating spaghetti the whole time we were sexting.
Pretty sure we had a civil war reenactment in your kitchen at 4am.
That would explain the cannon.
we went to go have morning sex and I said “I was gonna put my mouth on it but you need to shower”#ruinedthemoment
Did we go to Florida? My missing thong and DL just arrived in the mail. Return address was Tampa.
Randomize