I'm in your bed right now
Okay meet you there give me 10
Don't think you can make me leave either
Give me ten I ha e to be ******'s wingman I want you
when im bored during the day i often think, what do people who dont get high do with their day.. i came to the conlcusion that everyone must be getting high
u ever jackoff with ur legs spread and pretend ur fuckin urself as a girl and get mad u'll never know what that feels like. Or to fly like a bird?
Did u absorb a fraternal twin in the womb?
Just saw two girls doing a walk of shame together. Slut bonding at it's best.
the fucking easter bunny is here. he just made 3 cups in a row. no one knows who he is..
Lesbians. Lesbians everywhere.
24 hours later and my vagina is still tingling. That good.
please stop judging me for buying a handle of soco on a thursday at 10am. it was on sale, i'm thinking of my future.
Too lazy to get out of my bed thats 2 feet away from you. Are you sure youre alright?
Amazing. Super drunk. We stole a street sign in a golf cart and went around jousting trash cans all night.
When you get up and look at yourself in the mirror, don't be alarmed. The doctor assured us last night that it looked way worse than it actually was and there won't be a scar when the stitches come out
The only thing I regret was that he was wearing a scarf when we made out.
I hope your pay increase has gone through because I might need bail. This is not what I dreamed adulthood would be like.
So I deleted all the text from my phone, was looking for my mom's coffee order and show the coffee guy the pic of me eating pussy.
It's settled. One of us is going to bang her brother. The world demands justice and he's hot. We'll be the justice league if it were made of alcoholic whores
Randomize
