just checked my call log and realized that we talked for 3 mns. what did i say for that long?
pretty standard. you have fun last night?
apparently....what exactly does 'pretty standard' mean?
typical hot then cold, followed by a death threat.
no it's cool...i'm just drinking and studying...cool night
moral of the story: I'm going to stab everyone
That's not ass to mouth..... That a rim job!! Are you telling me she licked your asshole?!
I just saw how many times I called you last night. You're welcome.
Hey. Whatever time u wake up let me know Ur alive. I need my vegas partner... I don't think they let u take corpses on a plane.
New low, passed out while taking a shit for an hour with my parents home, suprised they didnt notice
Lesson learnt. Sex toy cleaning spray is not an acceptable substitute to clean your glasses with.
I just need to stop hanging out with girls who drink wine coolers.
There's no winning that game with me. It's either "Can I walk home at the end of the night," or "am I throwing up trying to sleep in the front yard." Rules are irrelevant.
I'm in his bed. I got up to puke. Im one eyeing it eating a hot dog bun. Wtf. This is my life
There's no such thing as shame in your world, is there?
Who the fuck watches Jessica jones and thinks I need to call a past fling?
Damn it. If you ever throw me again, take video.
Your vagina is awesome, like it needs to teach a class for other vaginas
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