Dude WTF? His teammate just started talkin to me on fb! Am I walking around with a "I like to f**k gators" on my forehead?
No, it just says ur easy
Played the LOTR drinking game last night. Ended up in boxers running thru the lot at ross's place screaming "for frodo"
her orgasm sounded like a fucking walrus crying.
That's the last time I try to be adventurous at a gas station
had to go back to that apartment this morning to get my other boot. it was tacked to the wall
Man, I must say, having known you since preschool, Eiffel-Tower-ing her would've fully completed our journey to brotherhood.
Last time I get high to write a paper the night before it's due. "Tiny Wings and sexuality" is not an acceptable topic to for a paper. Class in 30 minutes. I'm fucked...
I don't judge her for getting booty calls at 2 in the morning, so she can't judge me for staying in friday nights and putting spray cheese on pringles.
We can get high as fuck when there are no orders. If not its cool. I just figured Take Your Blunt Buddy To Work Day.
I thought we were but then I freaked myself out. So I kind of geared him up for take off and then cancelled the launch
He said I took his samurai sword off his wall and proceeded to jump off his porch at people coming home from the bar.
Blacked-in to me, shirtless, giving myself finger guns in the mirror and rapping "stacks in the club stacks stacks in the club."
Omg. Tonight might be the night I masturbate thinking of a smoothie!
I can't remember what I did last night, but judging from the state of my hair I had a pretty good time.
If I end up in the hospital remind me to order jimmy johns.
Why?
They deliver.
Randomize
