someone called me shannon dorrhety annnd it hurt my feelingsd.
Ive had to apologize to every girl i know today because of you
How do you get eyebrow wax out of your butthole region?
The fact that you aren't ashamed to ask that is the reason I will give you the answer. Under the sink there is a bottle of wax remover. Throw my waxing kit away as well.
its mom's weekend..did we need to couger proof the apt?
did the walk of shame through a baseball field. .A little league game was going on. Proceeded to buy a hot dog at the concession stand. the looks were priceless.
This freshman just ran out of her seat in a 200 person lecture, opened the emergency door and vommed everywhere. Then quietly went back to her seat. $2 Pitchers hit someone hard last night.
i just masturbated in footie pajamas. there's no judgement here.
She got a digital picture frame for her birthday. FINALLY - a place for me to sneak all those penis shots I've taken with my iPhone.
He legit asked if he could come over for a hug. I feel like I've been booty called by a 12 year old.
Bad news: I found out that girl you want has a boyfriend. Good news: she'll probably cheat on him with you. Better news: after seeing the way she treats him, that's the most interaction you're going to want with her anyway. Trust me.
I wasn't trying to be rude when I hurriedly walked past you, but I can not put in to words exactly how bad I had to shit.
Apparently I tried my hand at mustard juggling. I wasn't very good.
I just ate beer and cupcakes for breakfast.... maybe this fourth of july won't be so bad
I got very very very high last night and bought a cotton candy machine on eBay
I wanna eat mushrooms and cuddle with a million dogs at once. I wanna know what heaven is like
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