would you consider him our boss?
technically yes
then technically i slept with our boss
My balls are so social today.
I think the universe is against us being together. Or maybe it's just god's way of telling me there is a bigger dick out there for me.
just got 3 freshman girls to makeout with each other at a toga party! score!
why is this not a picture message?!?!
Her father's a cardiologist, her mom's a lawyer...she just went from a 5 to a 10 real quick.
I may be the first guy in history to get dome while watching An Extremely Goofy Movie.
Romer got arrested for getting in a bar fight with a bus boy because he was trying to steal a keg, had it all the way to the car
Bad news is I found gravy in my nightstand again.
walked into class wearing my zorro costume. some girl just said "oh my god, i fucked zorro this weekend." I found her.
When he goes down on me, he stares me in the eyes like a shark mocking it's prey as it devours it. Plus, his beard smells like dirty gym socks. This has got to end.
My 19 year old brother just hooked up with his 45 year old cougar kindergarten teacher. These sorts of situations make me realize why the sorority girls call him Wondercock
i feel like spreading the word of drunken joy.
I taught three men with PhDs how to make a gravity bong last night. I love academia.
"Here let me wipe my uterus off your dick" was probably the most unsexy thing said after period sex. I should get an award
This is going to be so stupid, but do you feel the calluses on my hands when I give you a handy?
Randomize
