can we please move this conversation out of my vagina?
please come you make the beer taste better
Maryland truck stops are full of people with killer mustaches
so she finally agreed to being friends with benefits. not only did I take her virginity, when I woke up, she brought me French toast made with homemade bread in bed.
I worship thee.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Went to my car this morning. Found a waffle from Waffle House in the front seat. No idea how it got there. So hung over I ate it.
I need to make a 'no kissing' rule for my casual hookups during cold season...this cold is so not worth it.
Guy next to me is looking up how to press his own ecstasy pills. I'm going to befriend him and see where this goes
I found a body half wedged into my bedroom wall this morning. How do I explain THIS to the carpenters?
Why are you there anyways?
Pickin up ball pit balls from craigslist
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Are you ok?!
I assume I've stopped bleeding because I haven't passed out, but can't verify currently.
When a guy asks for your ig but you already know his blood type, social security number, & mother's maiden name.
How do you feel about a threesome?
Will you be there?
I'm the one asking!
This girl was in the river screaming that someone didn't love her anymore...that's when the guy in a kilt claimed her...
Yeah I knew you'd like him. He's emotionally and physically self destructive.
We would have so much to talk about!
Sitting in the dr office she literally looked at my throat and goes have you been having oral intercourse
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