If there was chocolate on Regis Philban's dick, I would totally lick it off. That's how desperate I am for some right now.
Do you ever look at a vegetable and think "that would be awesome to shove up my vagina"?
you know i'm gay cause i'd have sex with lady gaga. what straight man would say that?
Was just practicing flip cup with my NyQuil cup...
at russian wedding, no open bar. bottles of vodka at table. getting to work tomorrow may be an issue.
His band may suck, but it's not like I'm sleeping with all of them.
Wasn't a date. In exchange for artichoke dip I received a bj. And sex. It was a transaction.
he actually managed to pick a girl up by telling her that her skirt was ugly and she didnt do a good job with her makeup. thats some seriously low selfesteem
Wasted on the beach. There's children everywhere. A six year old girl even stood over me with her hands on her waist looking down on me as I was passing out by the water
Just caused a nice traffic jam while trying to park at Costco. Too high to drive.
We are having a competition to see who can masterbate in the wierdest place, right now hes winning since he masterbated on his Jr. High school bus.
they were having sex on the toilet apparently and everytime someone knocked they flushed. it was like an auditory scoreboard of sex duration.
Let's just not urinate on things that don't need to be urinated on
The worst part about living in a small town is partying with your pharmacist and then having to buy Plan B from him the next morning.
The thing about online classes is the prof can't tell this mug is full of beer.
Randomize
