He is fucking rediculously sexy. DO HIM NOW. NOW. NOW. NOW.
have you ever been in a public bathroom and someone walked in, and you played "Fat or Crying" based on her breathing?
do you ever lay in the bath and watch the blood hit the water?
EWW. Don't discuss your period with me. You can go shave your back now.
I don't get why Lindsay Lohan doesn't just blame her bad behavior on her twin sister from the Parent Trap. I mean nobodys seen her since.
It is 3am. I'm at a pizzeria with my 4 friends. The one to my right is throwing up on herself, the one to my left is crying hysterically by herself, the one in front of me is passed out on the table, and the other is trying to find a taxi and I'm pretty sure a guy is sticking his hand up her skirt. Tourists are taking pictures. Help me.
Umm ok I'm kinda freaked out right now bc the chick that lives next door is either having tantric sex or slowly suffocating her dog to death.
She forced me to throw up so it would "rejuvenate" me. It worked and then we took six more shots and did a keg stand. You know what I call that? Friendship.
"Take a picture of me motorboating molly" was probably not my best career move
We went to his house and he brought a jar of pickles to bed. I think im in love.
At least he's enough of a gentleman to not make me do the walk of shame dressed as Santa.
New Halloween costume idea: Frankenstorm. We have three hours. Make it work.
I just walked through the door and she ran up to me, hugged me, unzipped my pants and immediately started sucking my dick. Good day.
I have so many feelings about this burrito
Don't forget to bring $1s for the strippers. Make it rain!!!!
Thanks, mom, will do
I knew how blacked out you were when you started doing that thing where you dance around and call yourself the Black Swan.
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