matt is drinking blue powerade and it looks like he has hypothermia. i can't take this kid anywhere.
Yeah. He most definitely jizzed himself in the face.
last time i saw her she was begging the broken jukebox to play lady gaga.
I have realized now that neither the top nor bottom of a bunk bed is safe for sex....
Just checked my recent transactions online. Between the hours of 1 and 3am on September 30th, I went to 7/11 4 times. Unacceptable.
It's safe to say that our attempt at trying to fuck in the grand Sierra elevator was a bad idea.
I feel like I grabbed someones dick last night, & if I didn't I'll be disappointed in myself
I AM COVERED IN FAKE BLOOD AND REAL CUM. I AM AWESOME
So what's going on?
We hit boys town to get stupid. I mean invading Iraq stupid.
I mean he gave me an 'I owe you an orgasm' fist bump
That's not fair! You can't come over after you just had sex and rub my dry spell in my face!
Sext me about skeletons
Just renamed the subject of my sex list on my phone "grocery list" just in case anyone comes across it
You can come over but I have to warn you that it is naked Sunday.
Get your dick back in here. On Saturdays, you're not allowed to leave my bed unless it's to make me bacon or coffee.
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