they say celebs die in threes. leave it to billy mays to throw in one extra COMPLETELY FREE!
my little sister told my dad she found willy wonka's golden ticket in the backseat of my car. now my dad knows my boyfriend uses magnums.
just bought a $25 eighth from a chick who has a kid. i'm helping my community out right?
Remember when we were mad at her for brining her mom on spring break? She just won the wet t-shirt contest. I think we owe her an apology.
Look, we all have our slutty phases. Mine is just forever.
I just Tebowed the shit out of her.
Nice and you can't use "Tebow" in the place of every verb.
Ok I have to ask, whose idea was it to used crushed up norcos as margarita salt? And what did they say to convince everybody else to think it was a good idea?
All I know is that I'm not gonna send out SOS messages via twitter for your rescue this time.
I was just at home taking Vicodin for a week straight. Talk about a vacation.
They're fighting and it sounds intense. Cross your fingers for their demise
Toss in some raw meat and play heavy metal music. It will insight violence.
I got hella high today and freaked out about life and interest rates
im buying my prof a giftcard to the state store bc he talked ab crying into a glass of tequila so he deserves it
Oh man I wish I could've gotten a picture of how many anti-circumcision stickers are on this Prius
The lady at the liquor store in my hometown just gave ran around the corner and gave me a hug when I came back from being gone for a couple months. My life is complete.
I woke up with my shoes on but pants in the fish tank
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