I'm not a mortal combat character
but my vagina is
Whats contracted in vegas does not stay in vegas....
We just took the batteries out of the fire alarm to play the breathalyzer game. I love college.
I swear my cock is like a magnet to my friends younger sisters mouths.
I need to get a life, I am either crying at every glee episode or just wanting to blow rails off photos of us
Well sorry I accidentally spooned your mom and possibly threw up on you
I'm just gonna go with where the wind takes me. if it takes me to his dick, so be it.
Got drunk and passed out flintstone vitamins to everyone at the bar. I'm just so god damn motherly
You thought that you were playing full contact and started screaming "I will fucking end you! I will end you!" and tried tackling everyone in the room.
whoa whoa whoa, you're saying I shouldn't post pics of you balls deep in a southern hottie?
I'm taking pictures of my asshole to send to my boss. This is not what I had in mind the day after thanksgiving.
That was my first party and they were so suprised that this little freshman girl was a FUCKING BEER PONG QUEEN.
What was I even doing in 2010?! I feel like that's a question I should be able to type into the Facebook Search bar
My goal tonight is to be arrested by the Police Women of Cincinnati.
when your dumb AF ex “accidentally” venmos you $50 and texts you asking for it back..... —sorry I accidentally deleted your number and cashed out
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