I've never had a man I enjoyed more than steak
i guess its not very common for a paramedic to have to revive someone who was struck by a falling shampoo bottle while getting off from the bathtub faucet.
just wanted to thank u for shitting in my dads bidet last night. i had to manually scoop ur shit out of it. btw ur dumped.
seriously though jaeger and i are fucking done professionally
Lightning struck the tree right outside of her window as I came inside her. I think its God's way of saying go by plan b.
On a lighter note, my mom and I were playing scattergories, and for "things that you keep hidden" we both put dildo. Proof that we really are related.
I sexy timed too hard and there is an ass shaped piece of a ping pong table now missing bc of it. How am I allowed to leave the house without a helmet?
All I can remember is posting my chicken burger in the post box. Postman is in for a treat.
What is she getting? Last time we talked her behavior was conducive to getting a tramp stamp on her face.
He wanted me to choke him with my feet. So now I feel obligated to start writing my memoir
That portion can talk about stepping out of your comfort zone and how it can potentially kill people
I watch one musical on Netflix, and the "Suggested for you" section is literally almost the entire gay movie category. I feel profiled, and netflixs' accuracy about my sexuality is both impressive and offensive.
The problem is that you are trying to hold on to some dignity. Let it go. I hope your rash gets better.
We dated for a month and a half. he didn't like blow jobs. I honestly don't think he was human.
This feels more like a conference of all the people I've fucked in the past year.
It’s like a sexy version of those choose your own adventure books from when we were kids. No matter what you choose, there will be penis!
Randomize
