There was something that i liked about you, but you spent it
He is drunkenly eating my teddy grahms and making little growling noises as he bites the head off of each one.
how the fuck did you end up in georgia? you were here at my party dry humping some chick 2 hours ago
so you mean to tell me that there is no way you can get me?
It feels like Jesse James cheated on America.
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I brought a guy home then decided no. Took him back to the bar and said "I'm going to drop you where I found you. Have fun"
How do you leave a condom wrapper under my mom's pillow...
This may not be the best moment to laugh, but I am.
These girls just walked into this party as reverse cowgirls... Wearing cowboy clothes all backwards
It was like we had a conversation with our eyes.
Was it a good conversation?
It was an awkward, sexual conversation.
Hyyypothetically, what would you do if you happened to see my boobs on the internet?
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Let me know. Show me one boob if yes. 2 if no
I hope I don't have to wait for another triple crown winner to get laid again.
Does the term "on fleek" apply to dicks or just eyebrows?
is it still considered wake n bake if you wake up at 2 pm?
Wanna get business drunk and go play golf?
Someone should walk up to them and say, "We're sorry, you're too hot to be out here with the other humans."
Randomize