Look at my ENTIRE past
Highly public sexual behavior gross mismanagement of funds socially unaccpetable and radical speech and thought
Might as well have a blog about it at this point
My dog fell asleep in his puke last night. He's only 5 weeks old and has more in common with my friends than I do.
where does the pee come out of this thing
Thats my favorite, when ex girlfriends become XL ex girlfriends
I was doing the dishes wondering what was with all the tiny little cups, but then I remembered that some people drink things other than huge mixed drinks and big cups of water the next day.
After the concert, I paid a cab to drive me around the city so I could shout "dc highfive!" at everyone who passed for an hour and a half.
Lmao the neighbor heard yall last night She wanted me to tell you way to finish strong
Oh wow. Was walking and just saw her in the pool, fully clothed, ranting on an alligator float. I guess i should go get her before security gets here.
Please God, is a penis possibly making it to vagina town to much to ask for tonight.
He told me he wanted a penis beard so that he could look at girls faces when they gave him blowjobs. i have to say, i kind of admire his creativity
Ran out of deodorant. Febreze on a paper towel? Kicking college's ass.
So you're saying you don't want to be with her anymore because she likes sex to much and is just to hot?
Well when you say it that way it makes me sound like an idiot.
You are an idiot.
Is "You've never made me cum." an acceptable breakup line?
i don't want him to see me in a bathing suit.
hasn't he seen you naked?
well yeah, but it's different in a bathing suit.
He’s got a big dick and a big ego. This could be fun
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